We all have our own, weird, little sex habits. However, a lot of people still ask me the same question: ‘Am I normal?’. Well, I don’t think anybody’s ‘normal’, and that’s good, otherwise the world would be the most boring sex playground ever. Whatever you do, as long as you respect other people’s freedom and consent, is ok. And it’s even important to explore and enjoy your fantasies so you can figure out what you like or don’t like.
Most of my confessions have to do with masturbating, I realize. That’s because it’s very important to me to enjoy sex with myself. Let’s start… You’re welcome to share your own confessions in the comments by the way…
1. I always masturbate 3 times in a row
If you follow me on twitter, then you might already know this. See, I’m a little bit OCD and I have something with the number 3 and its multiples. When I go on a plane, I need to count until 9, 9 times, so 81, just so I can make sure we don’t all die in a horrible crash. When I masturbate only once, which is rare, it’s still ok, but if I do it a second time and I experience the ‘echo orgasm’, as I like to call it, then I don’t feel complete. The number 2 is way too ugly. So, I go for it a third time, even when I’m already tired.
I try to let go of these habits though, because it has to do with some anxiety that I have, but still, it feels like something is not right. I try not to do it more than three times though, because if I get to 4, then I have to masturbate 81 times – go figure! – but that doesn’t seem too healthy so I just stop.
2. Masturbating while the food is cooking
Standing up, in the kitchen, watching the pasta cook in the boiling water or waiting til the tea is done. That’s a great way to spend 10 minutes, much better than checking facebook.
3. Orgasming before the end of the song
I love to masturbate to a good song. I love to set myself the challenge to reach orgasm before the end of the song, or even to orgasm when the drop comes – since I moved to Berlin, I’ve been listening to a lot of techno, of course – or when the guitar riff explodes. Heaven.
4. Jerking off before going on a date
Lena Dunham is not the only one to do that. I had a few Tinder dates last year when I was still in Barcelona, and I found that it releases the sexual tension. It kind of makes feel like “hey, if it doesn’t work, who cares, I’ve already come today”.
5. “Stop breathing, it will come faster”
This is something I actually try not to do anymore. I think a lot of women may do the same. When you feel like orgasm is coming, you just breathe in all the air and keep it inside to, somehow, concentrate until it comes. However, I’ve experimented a little, forcing myself to take deep breaths during masturbating and sex, and I’ve come to realize that I get less tense and the orgasm comes, maybe not as quick but definitely more intense. Besides, I don’t want to be obsessed with orgasming, because the more I think about it, the harder it gets. So, breathe, girls. It’s all good.
6. Sex in small places
I don’t know why, but I’ve got this fantasy about fucking a guy in very small, narrow places. For example, I often think about getting out of the tiny shower in an RV and being fucked from behind by a hot brunette guy. And bathrooms in general. Go figure.
7. Masturbating with the curtains open
I live in a flatshare at the moment, in Berlin. My room has two big windows, which overlook the backyard. One floor up is a flat with a small balcony and they can clearly see what’s going on in my room if my curtains are open. The other night, I started masturbating on my couch, and I saw that some people were smoking on the balcony. My first reflex was to get up and close the curtains, but I was really comfy, so I left them open. I don’t know if they were watching, but I found it quite exhilarating to keep going, knowing they might see me…
8. Smoking a cigarette after masturbating and smelling my finger
Well, this one is pretty straightforward. After I masturbate three times, I like to light up a cigarette. I’m left-handed, for both masturbating and smoking, and I breathe in the nice pussy smell on my wrinkled finger. Anyone else does that?