In my never-ending exploration of sex and its fascinating practices, I often go to my friends for advice, anecdotes and insight. We tend to think that the worst things have happened to us, until we talk to a friend and we realize it wasn’t so bad. Sex, and people, can be difficult and full of surprises. It’s hard to find a good connection with someone, but we try. It might leave us with the greatest memories and sometimes, the most traumatising, ego-shattering emotional scars.

So I asked my friends and the Internetz – thank you my sweet twitter pervs! – for the most disturbing and mean things that they were told during sex, so we can all get some perspective and remind ourselves that these issues shouldn’t reflect on our confidence, but instead motivate us to find partners that fit us better. FYI, I’m also preparing a post about the sweetest, most ego-boosting things said during sex, so have a good laugh at the comments below in the meantime! They’re from both male and female perspective, and one or two are from my own personal experience…

Boy to Girl – What’s up with all the hair? 


Boy to Girl – Could you try and be a little tighter?


Boy to Girl – You’re not someone I would normally find attractive, but there’s something about you.


Girl to Boy – I’m going to pee my pants you son of a bitch!!!


Boy to Girl (During a MFF threesome, he says to the other girl) – I’d rather just be with you.


Boy to Girl – You taste like vegetable soup.


Girl to Boy – I’ve lost my boner.


Boy to Boy (when the guy’s friend comes in) – Oh you brought the ugly one home.


Girl to Boy – No pressure, but you’d better be really good.


Boy to Girl – Wait, I’ll do it by myself.


To be continued…