It’s not big news. It’s f***ing Xmas again, and while the magic may entertain some of us, it’s also nice to remember a few pagan pleasures… Here’s a non-exhaustive list of the most non christmassy things to do. Please try this at home, no professional supervision needed.
1. Staying in bed until late
Santa is a bit too old for me, I’d rather stay in bed…
2. Working out
Everybody knows Christmas is about getting fatter. So if you want to piss off one chubby Santa, you know what to do…
3. Eating out
The end of the year means, for most of us, having dinner at home with our family. Although the gif below is certainly home-made, it’s definitely not family-centered.
4. Using the couch for something else than digestion
The big dinner might be tough on our stomachs, but it’s no excuse…
5. Indecent exposure
Now come on, seeing drunk Santa’s peepee on the street is nothing compared to these guys sharing an exciting moment…
6. Ill manners
You know you’re not supposed to put your fingers in the pie before it’s ready…
7. Pounding
Violence is never an option, except when it involves two horny adults who can’t keep their hands off of each other.
8. Wasting water
We have to think about the environment, and taking long showers with a significant other is no way to save the planet. Or is it?
9. Lust
Am I right?
