Lucie’s pussy : 6 things that set me free sexually {PICS}

You know that shy girl, the one who giggles and doesn’t seem very sure of herself, the one who eats her nails and goes home with the drunk guy? That used to be me. And I used to have terrible, terrible sex.

Why? Well, because I was programmed to think it was my responsibility to provide pleasure to the men. I thought I had to be sexy and available at all times, no matter my own feelings. It doesn’t surprise me that the sex was bad, because I would just do it to satisfy this part of me that wanted to be loved, instead of having fun for myself.

It wasn’t my fault. A lot of women are just like this, ignoring their own desires to fit with that society has been shoving down our mouths since we were born. Yes, society has been shoving a big fat dick in our throats and treats us like sluts when we suck on it, and like frigid bitches or angry feminists when we don’t.

So, over the course of ten years – I had sex for the first time at 18, I’m now 28 – I have learned to unlearn a lot of things, which has led me to be more confident and more free to enjoy myself for who I am, with who I want.

We took some pictures to illustrate all this bullshit today. Hope you enjoy. Photos by Alf Ruge.

1. The belly bullshit

I realised pretty early that I was afraid for my partners to touch my belly. You see, I used to be pretty chubbay and a guy putting his hand on my big fat belly would put me in a panic, because I didn’t accept myself and I couldn’t bear the fact that I wasn’t hot enough. I would even pull my stomach in unconsciously every day. So, I was aware of it, but it’s only after years that I actually stopped giving a shit.

lucie blush belly

2. Saying no and be ok with it

I always thought it was the guys who would pick me to have sex, not the other way around. I was valuing myself on my fuckability only and it took me a long time to realise that I could say no and that the world wouldn’t end, even if the guy wouldn’t like me anymore. All the better, actually!

lucie blush erotic

3. Am I doing this right?

Oh, the perpetual performance. Because sex is a performance for a lot of people, of all genders. I was so anxious about my first boyfriend. I was trying to give him a blow job and somehow he wasn’t reaching orgasm and it made me feel really bad about myself. I remember sweating like a pig with my head under the blanket, going up and down, waiting for him to finally come. In the end, he did, because I figured that using my hand would greatly help. But it didn’t help at all, it just made me feel like a sex provider.

lucie blush blow job

4. Is he doing this right?

I would also be really anxious about my partner doing the right thing, fucking me right or licking me on the right spot, somehow anticipating what would go wrong. Then, some kind of resentment would grow, I would feel dissatisfied, angry, he would feel bad, just because I never thought I could actually express myself WITH WORDS. It might sound like a cheap shrink argument but it is so true: you need to communicate. Nobody can read your mind, and putting words on feelings and sensations is actually a great way to figure out what you want.

lucie blush

5. PORN

You already know my story. The self-conscious chick from France who becomes a porn actress. I honestly felt surprisingly liberated when I stripped in front of the camera for the first time. Loving my love handles, my body hair, my ass pimples…

Porn made me see who I was, really. Instead of reinforcing the mask, it made it disappear.

lucie blush porn

6. Sex with girls

I had sex with girls a few times, by myself and in threesomes. I used to think that the girls would judge me more on my appearance or performance, that there would be more jealousy, more comparing. But I saw that it was all the opposite. It was fun, we were together. I remember having a threesome with my partner and one of his friends. She sucked his dick really hard until she chocked and there was saliva everywhere. I would have felt really bad if I had chocked, because somehow, I would feel like I wasn’t doing it right or that I was looking bad. But she was going for it, with passion, enjoying herself, not giving a shit. It was very inspiring, and I’m thankful for the great time we had.

It’s cool to see how other women behave in sex, I think it helped me get out of my head and perspective.

lucie blush pussy

Think about it!

 

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